Heironymus Merkin is an internationally successful singer approaching middle age who retells his life story in a series of production numbers on a seashore in front of his two toddlers and aged mother. Merkin's promiscuous relationships with women are explored, particularly Polyester Poontang and the adolescent Mercy Humppe. Merkin is constantly surrounded by a Satan-like procurer, Goodtime Eddie Filth, and an angelic 'Presence' who interrupts Merkin's biography with cryptic Borscht Belt-level jokes to denote births and deaths in Merkin's life. Newley periodically steps out of character to complain about his 'Merkin' role with an unseen director, two screenwriters, the film's producers and a trio of blasé movie critics who are turned off by the story's eroticism and lack of plot.
A rancher comes home and finds that his son has been murdered and his daughter kidnapped by a bandit gang. He hires a professional tracker with a reputation for finding his quarry to help him find the gang and rescue his daughter.
The captain of a downed airliner must help his crew and passengers survive on a deserted jungle island in the midst of a power struggle - an adult version of "Lord of the Flies."
A French hit man is hired by a crime family to end the life of a rival mobster, but things fall apart when the boss who hired him is killed.